Battle of the mind

Right now there is a battle going on in my mind about whether to keep reading the book of proverbs that I started yesterday or go back to that novel that takes me to an imaginary place that is happy, exciting and safe. 

I realized after deciding to stick to the book of proverbs that I wasn't going to get anything from it right now, because as far as my head is concerned, the novel seems to be more appealing. Writing this down and reading through it just makes me sick to my stomach. I am supposed to be the God fearing, God loving, God obeying girl but all I really want to do right now is finish my novel. Does that make me a bad person? 

The truth is, so many battles in our minds are actually not battles because most times we already know what we are going to do/not do. 

I battle with thoughts every day, some I am not very proud of, some I wish I could share but i know its a bad idea. I always tell people 'my head' is a scary place, most of them just think I say that to get away from telling them stuff but the honest truth is, some of my thoughts scare even me.

Battle of the mind!!! 

Why didn't God just make our lives transparent?i.e what you see is what you get, nothing hidden, nothing shaded, nothing grey.... All black and white. So immediately you spot a person, you know what they are about and then you can decide if you want to be friends with the person or not, or if you got the job or not, or if the person loves you or not, or if the person is cheating on you or not, or if the person loves God or not. Wouldn't that just make life very easy? Then we wouldn't have to worry, or assume. We would just KNOW.

The battles in my mind all stem from a place of worry. Should I do this or not? Am I making the right decision? Are we going to be ok? Will I make a good Pastors wife? Will I be a good mother? Will i be a good doctor? Are my decisions/choices channelling the God in me?

O well, since I cant read anyone's mind nor settle the battles going on in mine ( since they are not  really battles ), I have decided to trust the Holy Spirit in me to be a part of my decision making by listening to Him (Proverbs 1:33 "....whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”) and also trust God to bring into my life people that are filled with the Holy Spirit so I won't need to read their minds because we would just sync. 

Have a fabulous week.

Dr MeeMs

My Desire, His Plan.

I have been writing this piece in bits for weeks, decided to share it now because I finally got the  message. And again, it took me a while to decide on the topic but tonight my sister and best friend read the rough sheet and gave me one.... My desire, His plan!

In 1st Sam 1, the bible says God shut Hannah's womb, not the devil, not previous abortions, not past sexual encounters gone wrong. What do you do when the one you are praying to is the source of your problem???.... That got me thinking about so many things that I have cursed and blamed the devil for in the past lol.

As Christians we need to understand that sometimes God creates problems for us so that He can show off His glory through us.

Most great miracles start out with pain. God shut her womb so she could hurt bad enough, to break her in all the right places, to see how bad she really wanted it.

God creates tension in our lives so we can search for him and he could sort us out.

All Hannah wanted was a child to show her husband and the world that she wasn't barren but her purpose was to bring forth Samuel who...

1.  Led Israel for many years in the combined roles of prophet, priest, and judge.

2. Anointed Saul as Israel’s first king after the people demanded a king like those of the other nations ( 1st sam 1:8).

3. When Saul turned from God, David was anointed by Samuel to rule.

And we all know how that story ends. Hannah gave birth to a boy who became a man that anointed David whose lineage our Lord Jesus came from. If only Hannah knew that.

Purpose can't be bought off.  Purpose makes you leave a paying job to work for free. 

Sometimes our will is to go left while Gods will is for us to stay where we are or go right or go forward and sometimes he is saying go Back.

The more you pull the bow back, the further the arrow shoots!!!

You can not find your purpose Until you find the core of your pain.... SELAH

Peninnah was put there to get on Hannah's nerves, in biblical terms 'to provoke Hannah', it was mentioned twice by the way... 1sam 1:6 and 1:7

Sometimes God blesses people around you to create a thirst in you, to provoke you to seek him more, to work even harder, to make a vow just like Hannah did. God knew Samuel would be born and that the boy would be needed, but he wanted her to offer him willingly which she did eventually.

Finally, Just because you have favor doesn't mean you have purpose. Hannah was favored by her husband..... 1sam 1: 'On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her'.

 She could have been content with that and assume her purpose was to be her husbands favorite but God still put in her a void/emptiness that only a child could fill. So when you get to a place in your life where everything seems to be going well but you still have this thirst for something greater or different or feel like there is still a void or emptiness, that could just be God saying 'that ain't your purpose' , 'son/daughter, there is still more in store for you'.

I have no clue what next but there's one thing I am sure of, being just a medical doctor isn't the end for me, it's just the beginning.

Dr MeeMs

Not single..... Not married

Recents events in my life has made pause and re-evaluate. I wish I can write exactly how I feel but I can't.
Before I continue I need to tell the ladies..... Marry a man that doesn't understand sarcasm!!!
    
Now back to the main issue......COURTSHIP!!!

When you are dating it is like the world is perfect, life can't be any better than that and then he proposes and after the whole excitement your head wakes up and everything is different.
1st it is panic, then fear, then dread, then fear again and finally resolution.

You begin to wonder and question everything. You start to imagine 5-10 years down the road, where you will be! What you would be doing! What would he be doing! What would your kids look like! What kind of life would you be living!


And then you remember when you guys were just dating, how good things were and then things make sense again.

Is this normal or am I just all screwed up inside?

 Dr MeeMs

Proverbs 22:29

Proverbs 22:29 

'Do you see a man diligent/skilled in his work, he will serve before kings and not before mean men'

That's the scripture I came across this morning and it was like a spring was opened inside of me. The text didn't say 'do u see a believer/christian who is skilled.... It said 'man', meaning if you are diligent alone even without God being a constant in you life, you are bound to succeed.  I know we don't want ordinary success, that's where the 'being a believer' takes precedent because we are searching for extraordinary success.

I remember a time when an ex asked me what quality I thought my dream man should possess, and before even thinking about it I said 'consistency' and this was to someone who was expecting me to recite the usual 'tall, dark, handsome, funny....blah blah'. Looking at him I could see that he was disappointed so I explained. 

To be consistent in everything you do is more important to me than for you to be hot today cold tomorrow. If you go to church, I want you to go always....consistency. If you pray every morning when you wake up, I need you to continue doing that....consistency. If you happen to be a funny guy, I need you to make me laugh for the rest of my life...consistency.

I know for some this sounds ridiculous but what can I say lol.

So back to our inner man. If you are diligent in the place of prayer, you will serve before kings, if you are diligent in your pursuit of physical success, you won't serve before mean men... 

I learnt today that diligence is what you need to be successful, but to have extraordinary success you also need DIVINE BACKING. Daniel was consistent, he refused to eat from the kings bounty, he refused to bow to their gods.... and the bible records in Dan6:20-28 that even the king could testify that Daniel had Gods backing.

BIBLE STUDY... Another important requirement. Josh1:8 says it all. The bible also says 'Study to show yourself approved.....'

Bottom line is, most of us want to be successful without putting in the work/time, life doesn't work like that, neither does the kingdom of God. You Being successful isn't to satisfy your lustful self but to glorify God, so we need to strive to attain extraordinary success so that God can use us to move His kingdom further. 

Be wise, don't be like the rich fool that thought he had it all but God reminded him who was boss by taking his soul that very night.

Diligence (in our place of work and in the things of God), bible study, divine backing....#wink

Have a lovely week everyone.

Dr Meems.